I have been scraping my brain to think of even the tiniest bit of interesting, bloggable content but just like that empty toothpaste tube - there's nothing there. That's when an idea finally struck I know, I'll publish a legit journal entry! A highschool gem, perhaps, that'll be hilarious. Sporadic journaling has always been a hobby of mine and I thought it would be fun to try to find an entry from this day X years ago. We could see how cute and naive I was blundering about life like I knew something
OMG YOU GUYS THE HORROR!!!!!!
I'm honestly embarrassed on behalf of myself.
There is a big Self Love movement happening right now where we are all supposed to embrace who we are whether we are curvy or small chested, wear makeup or don't, have memorized literary classics or play video games or are big into roadkill taxidermy. You do you, homeskillet, and love yourself for it. I feel like I'm putting that love to the ultimate test reading through these thoughtlessly articulated, grammatically errored whirlwinds of facts and emotions. I mean, I signed off one night with "FROSH RULE"... even worse I was still in 8th grade. Ugh. Then there's this gem:
Sunday March 10, 2002 9:27:34 pm [gotta have those seconds in there] So much has been happening lately. I will only write brief summaries because I'll probably remember it forever.
And I proceeded to describe an event where two people I knew liked each other (like liked like) and I had to go back and forth between them to convince them that they were MEANT TO BE! I do not remember this at. all. But it was so nice of me to think I would.
Thursday April 11, 2002 9:19 [talking shit about a good friend] There are some sutpider things like trying to be like me style wise, but I don't really care about that. Ever since I started wearing skirts she has too. But like I said, I don't care about that. She is jealous because Troy loves me. Or maybe she's jealous of me 'cause I have more fun and more friends than her...That's kinda rude, but it's true. *sighs*
Mean girl much?! I am shocked and dismayed, and I'm putting some of my ugly out here for all the world to see so I can be held accountable for being such a little dirtbag. And #bitchplease, obviously you do care that you started a skirt trend. *Calm down* ...but thank you for actually writing ON PAPER an asterisked *sigh*, that's legit. I'm going to start using those a lot now.
The only saving grace with these diaries is that I went on to marry Troy, so it actually feels a lot less weird that I obsessed over him and kept a running number for everytime we boned [please god, I hope I'm not alone in that]. I also get passages like this:
Monday June 2, 2003 4:40 pm [recapping my day] One thing lead to another and we [Troy and I] ended up in a huge fight under a tree. I don't know what it was about, I really can't remember. After awhile we sobbed and smiled and ended up confessing our undying love for eachother.
My first reaction is like *puke* give me a break...but then I'm like IT REALLY WAS UNDYING LOVE AND NOW YOU HAVE A HOUSE AND A BABY AND A BUNCH OF CATS AND LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL. But mostly I wonder how many other things I could have learned and be skilled at if I wasn't so busy pining over Troy. Could I be fluent in French? Could I have gotten into computer coding and be a millionaire? Could I have been the first person on Mars?! We will never, ever know. My potential was all wasted on someone who turned out to be locked down pretty easily. *shrug*
So what's the takeaway of this post? Love yourself, but never forget what a pathetic teenager you were. That person is still in there somewhere, and probably not as deeply buried as you would hope. Heck, all you need to do to see 15 year old Shannon is play a Blink 182 song and I will immediately get giddy and starting texting Troy to remind him how much of my Bae he is (note: "bae" came into existence well after my teenage years, and I never called Troy that, but I'm trying to stay relevant). The point is we need to continue to grow. If I fully embraced who I was at 15 and had the confidence to never change, well tbh, I'd be a shitty person. I'd lack substance and character, and you would seriously hate reading what I had to say. I know I do.
Well Strangers, what do you remember about being a teenager? Give me your lamest story.